Principals in talks over Christmas crisis

Gerry Jackson
24 December 2009

In breaking news we have just heard that the North American Defense command – Norad – has been tracking Santa for over 50 years now and reports that his journey around the world has begun. Norad is the US military organisation that is responsible for the aerospace and maritime defence of the US and Canada.

According to Norad, their tracking system works because Rudolph the Reindeers famous red nose gives off an infrared signature similar to a missile launch.

The bad news is that once again the reindeer are refusing to land in Zimbabwe – due to the ongoing farm invasions where animals are being slaughtered, and also because of the high level of poaching.

They have serious concerns that they will either be shot, speared or caught in a poachers wire noose.

The 3 principles in the unity government, Robert Mugabe, Morgan Tsvangirai and Arthur Mutambara have been in closed door discussions with Santa’s elves all day to try to resolve the situation. The elves want absolute assurances that the reindeer will be safe, but so far that has not been forthcoming.

Mugabe has said he feels certain that neo colonialists have been persuading the reindeer to take this course of action in a deliberate attempt to destabilise Zimbabwe, while Tsvangirai said the reindeer are completely over reacting, just as Nestle have in shutting down their Zimbabwe operation. Mutambara has said he enjoys eating reindeer meat.

We’ll bring you more on this story as it develops.