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They can’t possibly replace me with Gaddafi
I tell you, I don’t get any respect.
Sometimes, I wonder what this world is coming to.
Languishing in exile as a political refugee for several years, I hear that Robert Mugabe is considering hosting Muammar Gaddafi as a political refugee in Zimbabwe.
I don’t get no respect, I tell you!
Mugabe and his ZANU-PF cannot give my slot to Kaddafi. That would be the cruelest of things to do to me after they chased me across the border in a cloud of dust.
It does not help to know that Gaddafi, as a refugee in Zimbabwe, would be living a much more luxurious life than me, his billions be damned!
I should have just stayed home and became a refugee in my own country even though we Zimbabweans are all illegitimate because we don’t have a president.
And I guess Mugabe is going to give Gaddafi my little barren field, allocated to me by the colonial government way back in 1970.
Hondo Yeminda, my foot!
I am still tilling the little patch I got more than forty years ago and yet we hear about farms being invaded so as to give the people some land. Where is all the land, I wonder?
No, they can’t give Gaddafi my space because, unlike Gaddafi, I will return home.
If Gaddafi leaves Libya, he won’t ever return home!
I am saying “No!”, dear comrades, not my little patch of barren land!
I will hold on to it. At least Ian Smith gave me something, unlike Mugabe.
But there are a few things we ought to consider before Mugabe gives my parking space to Gaddafi.
First, Mugabe and his party are not the ruling party so they cannot just invite a fallen dictator who, like Mugabe, is of interest to the International Criminal Court for something called “crimes against humanity”.
That useless grouping, the African Union, has apparently been scouting for a safe haven for murderous dictator Gaddafi and, presto, Zimbabwe came to mind.
For good measure, they also threw in Angola as a possible destination.
But Zimbabwe tops the list because it has experience in taking care of murderers.
It already is home to a couple of murderous dictators so why not send in one more murderer into Zimbabwe?
But Jean Ping and his African Union are turning our country into a hell on earth, a country where condemned men are treated as royalty; where all those who have murdered and abused millions of people are welcomed and are taken care of at our expense.
But you need not forever hold your peace.
There is a ruling party in Zimbabwe; it is called the Movement for Democratic Change and is led by one Morgan Tsvangirai.
Mr Tsvangirai has not yet said anything about the possibility of Gaddafi taking my slot in Zimbabwe. Maybe because it is considered speculative at the moment, but even Ping and the African Union are speculating too.
As I write, Gaddafi has bolted from his compound and is cowering in some caves somewhere and a bounty of $1.7 million has been pinned on his head so Tsvangirai should not be surprised if he returns home from the office and finds that his home and the neighbourhood are off limits to him because Gaddafi has descended on the area.
It is more than speculation.
That useless technocrat, Jean Ping, the president or chairman of the African Union, was shameless when he appeared on television spouting the usual nonsense of protecting dictators.
How will the MDC, as the “ruling party”, handle a situation like this?
They can’t possibly accept Gaddafi for reasons that have more to do with how Gaddafi viewed them, let alone the pariah he is.
Would they want to be seen as being protective of an anti democracy terrorist while they yap about democracy everyday?
How will they foil Gaddafi’s coming to stay?
It would have been good were the MDC to say something. But judging from their silence, the MDC will be making courtesy calls on Gaddafi’s Borrowdale Brook home soon.
But, I dare say, Gaddafi should be allowed to come and hide in Zimbabwe.
It is to our advantage; it will remind the world which terrorist to grab before getting Gaddafi.
Gaddafi is not as poor as that other rat, Mengistu Haile Mariam of Ethiopia.
Mengistu is wanted back home for murdering his people and he had the foresight to choose another murderer to hide with.
I guess Mengistu’s reasoning was that if they come to get him, they will have to take Robert Mugabe as well. So, believing that Mugabe won’t be going anywhere, Mengistu came to Zimbabwe.
Immediately after that, Mugabe appeared to have become more vicious and killed at will, to the satisfaction of Mengistu.
Mugabe even took into our country a wanted Rwandan genocide suspect, Protais Mpiranya, said to be in hiding in Harare.
It was interesting to hear the CID in Zimbabwe appealing to the public for information about Mpiranya, a man they have been protecting for years on end while refusing to hand him over to the International Criminal Court.
Now here comes Gaddafi! I hope he doesn’t dare.
Gaddafi’s presence in Zimbabwe will foul things up for the MDC because those who have given it both financial and moral support might not like that. The MDC will be hard pressed as to what to do about it, especially considering that they have no power of any sort.
But Gaddafi’s presence in Zimbabwe would also be a blessing in disguise for the MDC because it would draw a lot of attention, not only on Gaddafi himself, but on Mugabe and Mengistu.
Imagine the three of them, Mugabe, Mengistu and Gaddafi all together in one third world city!
I bet the devil is smiling all the way from Gehenna!
The MDC would be given new ammunition to shout out to the world and say, “We told you about this man, Mugabe; look at the company he keeps!”
Meanwhile, Gaddafi’s possible seeking refuge in Zimbabwe would have serious implications on SADC and Jacob Zuma’s mediation role in Zimbabwe.
Ever since Gaddafi came under fire, Zuma has been trying hard to assist him, going as far as supporting a man whose own people don’t want him anymore.
Gaddafi gave a lot of money to Zuma’s African National Congress and it is payback time.
Because of this money, the ANC’s democrats are turning a blind eye to Gaddafi’s atrocities and are siding with him even in the face of popular uprising by his own people against him.
That is prostitution, if you ask me!
The heart of the matter is that should Zuma manage to arrange for Gaddafi to be granted asylum in Zimbabwe, this will compromise his mediation role and spell the death of the Global Political Agreement.
Surely, Gaddafi’s presence in any country is a major issue internationally and Zuma, Mugabe and Gaddafi all know that.
Mugabe will be only too glad to host Gaddafi.
Once Gaddafi enters Zimbabwe, Zuma will owe Mugabe the biggest farvour of his short presidency.
For starters, Zuma would no longer be in a position to make demands on Mugabe so we can conclude that Gaddafi’s arrival in Zimbabwe would be the death of the Global Political Agreement.
Zuma would cease to push Mugabe around because Mugabe will also ask for something in return.
Mugabe, who is already critical of Zuma’s role in the GPA, would want Zuma to take his foot off the accelerator or to just simply leave him alone.
With Gaddafi as Mugabe’s hostage, Zuma will have a tough time protecting his milking cow, Gaddafi and I can’t think of anything Mugabe and ZANU-PF would love more.
Meanwhile, if my prime minister is listening, he should never make it possible for Gaddafi to be granted asylum in Zimbabwe because Gaddafi’s presence in Zimbabwe will relegate the MDC to the back burner.
All those western and European countries that we are told have been supporting him might have to shift strategy and I do not think it would be in the MDC’s interests.
As for me, I want both Mugabe and Tsvangirai to know that I will not accept them allocating my slot in the nation to Gaddafi.
I will be home soon and I better find my parking space vacant.
I am Tanonoka Joseph Whande and that, my fellow Zimbabweans, is the way it is, today, August 25, 2011.
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